If you are wanting to turn doula work into a "job" then don't take my class. Please...DO NOT. BASIC (Balance, Affirmation, Skills, Information, Confidence), our birth doula primer, is permeated with the soft skills of compassion, sacrifice, emotional investment and service. And before you go off on a rant about not getting paid and "giving yourself away", I remind you that when we give, we also receive. Doula work is more than a "job", it is as honoured a service as midwifery and it requires a depth of caring and investment that cannot...absolutely CANNOT be compensated for monetarily.
Your time, your expenses, your knowledge; these things can be accounted for on a balance sheet, but there cannot be a column for the emotional currency that is traded between us and the women we serve. Often in service industries, balance sheets require some creative massaging to reflect the priorities of the provider. Who is to say that the births I did "for no money" did not hold for me something more precious? Not you. You cannot say that for *me*. You will not tell me that I have to abide by your set of priorities and charge money for all births I attend. That is between me and my client and it is a sacred exchange. It's none of your business. And before you go off on a rant about my "free births" (and I haven't done many but the ones I have done were amply "paid for") I point out that there isn't a profession out there today that doesn't play some type of philanthropic role in each community.
One of our sons is a metal fabricator. He works for a small machine shop that relies on word of mouth and a handshake. Every day someone comes into the shop that needs something done but that cannot pay and every day one of the guys finds a way to help that customer. Its good business and it's the right thing to do. It, in no way, stops paying customers from coming in and it goes a very long way to creating the trust that a small business needs.
I think, in our effort to "value" the doula we have focused on one method of payment to the exclusion of others. This is short sighted and insulting.
Full time doula work isn't for the faint at heart. It is is bloody hard work that will cost you in ways that simply can't be compensated for. Life on call, the stresses of a full time practise, they aren't for just anyone wanting to pay their bills and if you expect that you will be in big trouble. We must, above all, in our effort to professionalise, not be captivated by the shtick of hard core sales-women at the expense of the true essence of what we do. Are we throwing the baby out with the bath water as we do this? Perhaps.
Tuesday, 4 August 2015
Wednesday, 29 July 2015
Doulas; Luxury or Right?
Are doulas a luxury or a right? Well...Depending on what camp you sit in, either could be true. If you narrow your opic to the individual business level you may experience confirmation bias and for your own purposes define doula support as a luxury. With this perspective it makes it easier to be more "hard nosed" about your business model and putting earning before anything philanthropic. After all luxuries should be paid for. But this falls apart when you widen the optic and look at birth outside of your own business goals. The research is clear. Continuous Labour Support is vital to achieving better outcomes for mothers and babies. And before you go off on a rant about how, as a doula, you are not concerned with outcomes, I remind you that many of us come to doula work to make a difference. Most, if not all, of the student doulas in my classes self identify as seeking training to help women achieve more satisfying births. They share a passion about helping women, in a myriad of ways, to reach for the births they want with someone at their side that shares those goals and is committed to their realization.
While the "revolution" to professionalize as doulas takes place it is shadowed by a bigger effort to take back birth. At the foundation of this movement sits compelling research that points to continuous labour support as a human right. It's inhumane for women to give birth alone no matter where you live and is logical to think that rich industrialized countries should provide this basic right to all birthing women. It goes hand in hand with ending birth violence and entrenching the authoritarian voice of women world wide.
So if you are struggling with the notion that doula support is a luxury perhaps your optic is wider and you are tuned into the effort to change birth. If you have no desire to change birth, but to instead earn a living it might well serve you to consider doula support as a luxurious item for which women must pay and that those that can't can do without. I am, however, as a person invested heavily in affecting change and educating doulas in how to achieve it, very worried about any effort to re-define doula support as anything but what the evidence supports. It sits squarely, in terms of importance, with the presence of a loved one, as a human right FIRST. Anything beyond that is for your convenience only.
While the "revolution" to professionalize as doulas takes place it is shadowed by a bigger effort to take back birth. At the foundation of this movement sits compelling research that points to continuous labour support as a human right. It's inhumane for women to give birth alone no matter where you live and is logical to think that rich industrialized countries should provide this basic right to all birthing women. It goes hand in hand with ending birth violence and entrenching the authoritarian voice of women world wide.
So if you are struggling with the notion that doula support is a luxury perhaps your optic is wider and you are tuned into the effort to change birth. If you have no desire to change birth, but to instead earn a living it might well serve you to consider doula support as a luxurious item for which women must pay and that those that can't can do without. I am, however, as a person invested heavily in affecting change and educating doulas in how to achieve it, very worried about any effort to re-define doula support as anything but what the evidence supports. It sits squarely, in terms of importance, with the presence of a loved one, as a human right FIRST. Anything beyond that is for your convenience only.
Saturday, 25 July 2015
Who Should Define Sleezy?
It doesn't take much these days to incur the wrath of doulas who aim to "professionalize". They are, somewhat understandably, skittish. I'd imagine that this is born out of having to blaze trails and establish new flows against the current. The relative "newness" of their pursuits leave them distrustful and quick to shoot anyone that questions their sacred cows. I value innovators and people that speak truth plainly and for this, I give Randi Patterson and her staff mucho kudos.
As a self ascribed "industry watchdog" I'm often skewered in my attempts to bring attention to the uncomfortable. I'm cool with this. It means I'm asking important questions. And to this issue I make the observation that we, as a profession, vocation or calling, need a business code of ethics.
As a self ascribed "industry watchdog" I'm often skewered in my attempts to bring attention to the uncomfortable. I'm cool with this. It means I'm asking important questions. And to this issue I make the observation that we, as a profession, vocation or calling, need a business code of ethics.
"Business Ethics" can be defined as the critical, structured examination of how people & institutions should behave in the world of commerce. In particular, it involves examining appropriate constraints on the pursuit of self-interest, or (for firms) profits, when the actions of individuals or firms affects others.
http://www.businessethics.ca/definitions/business-ethics.html
I imagine that a think tank/summit would be the most efficacious way to host this important conversation. Leaders in the doula world need to gather around a table and hammer out what this would look like. Certainly, we don't need to re-invent the wheel. The Canadian Marketing Association, a think tank of marketing gurus, makes available some compelling marketing guidelines that cleave to foundational ethical principals yet allow for maximum realisation of profit and potential. Their position on "Warm chatting" or any other type of marketing contact is multi-faceted and contains the following:
I5.1 Marketers should identify themselves and must not engage in marketing communications in the guise of one purpose when the intent is a different purpose.
We need clear ethical guidelines in place to guide us as we move into a new business savvy era. We mustn't take this lightly. Our success rests on a mountain of great work done by industry pioneers and we ought not waste it by acting cavalier and not laying the tracks for what is to come. It is truly beneath us all to be stuck in spitting contests and high-school antics. Let's all come to higher ground and establish agreed upon industry guidelines. If anyone can come together and get this done, doulas can.
Thursday, 23 July 2015
DOULAS; THE NEW USED CAR SALESMAN?
I've been pretty quiet over the last year. I've been watching the doula world change beneath my feet and I can't say that I'm comfortable with what I've been seeing. As a birth doula trainer I am concerned about the new "professional doula" that is trending. Warm chatting? Doula win? Upselling? When did these terms enter our universe? Since when is it alright to be another person that ambushes parents in an attempt to sell them something? Its vile and disgusting. And before you go off on a rant about entitlement to a living wage just think about that for a second. Are you asserting that you have some type of right to approach parents, unsolicited, and talk them into a doula? or to hand them business cards in elevators and coffee shops? Hell, why stop there?! How about we knock on doors and hand pamphlets to anyone with toys in the yard! We all love when people come to our homes, our private spaces and our daily worlds and try to sell us stuff right?
More and more I find myself apologizing to parents and caregivers about "sleezy" behavior by doulas in person and online. As a childbirth educator I now have the distinct pleasure of hearing from parents about how they have been targeted by doulas and hijacked on their computers or in person. How did such a noble and respectful service go so far off the rails? We are perilously close to becoming the used car salesman of the birth world doing whatever we have to to make a buck. Be careful of the rhetoric of entitlement. It can suck you in and before you know it, you are spewing the party line.
The truth is that until we have earned our way into the systems and proven over and over that we can be trusted to put the mother's needs before our own we are in danger of authoring our own demise. We stand to lose a great deal as perceptions of doulas change from a person in service of another with no personal agenda to a person furthering business goals from which parents must be protected.
It's a sharp tipping point. While I'm sure there are many ethical car salesman out there there's no denying that they must shoulder the perception that they are cheezy cheaters out to sell us stuff we don't want or to put a shine on something that we don't need. Are we headed in that direction? I fear that some of us are.
I've been pretty quiet over the last year. I've been watching the doula world change beneath my feet and I can't say that I'm comfortable with what I've been seeing. As a birth doula trainer I am concerned about the new "professional doula" that is trending. Warm chatting? Doula win? Upselling? When did these terms enter our universe? Since when is it alright to be another person that ambushes parents in an attempt to sell them something? Its vile and disgusting. And before you go off on a rant about entitlement to a living wage just think about that for a second. Are you asserting that you have some type of right to approach parents, unsolicited, and talk them into a doula? or to hand them business cards in elevators and coffee shops? Hell, why stop there?! How about we knock on doors and hand pamphlets to anyone with toys in the yard! We all love when people come to our homes, our private spaces and our daily worlds and try to sell us stuff right?
More and more I find myself apologizing to parents and caregivers about "sleezy" behavior by doulas in person and online. As a childbirth educator I now have the distinct pleasure of hearing from parents about how they have been targeted by doulas and hijacked on their computers or in person. How did such a noble and respectful service go so far off the rails? We are perilously close to becoming the used car salesman of the birth world doing whatever we have to to make a buck. Be careful of the rhetoric of entitlement. It can suck you in and before you know it, you are spewing the party line.
The truth is that until we have earned our way into the systems and proven over and over that we can be trusted to put the mother's needs before our own we are in danger of authoring our own demise. We stand to lose a great deal as perceptions of doulas change from a person in service of another with no personal agenda to a person furthering business goals from which parents must be protected.
It's a sharp tipping point. While I'm sure there are many ethical car salesman out there there's no denying that they must shoulder the perception that they are cheezy cheaters out to sell us stuff we don't want or to put a shine on something that we don't need. Are we headed in that direction? I fear that some of us are.
Wednesday, 28 May 2014
Walking the Walk
I turned 50 last September. That is significant for many reasons beyond rites of passage and a new "phase" of my life. Turning 50 in Canada triggers a medical "protocol" to find disease for which, at 49, we weren't at risk. I dutifully went for all the poking, prodding and tests now required and behold... I have high cholesterol. Of course I had high cholesterol when I was 49 but now it's a whole new ballgame. Now I'm to consider jumping on the statin train. The pressure from my care provider is significant and even as an educator who knows the evidence on cholesterol doesn't support his treatment plan, I feel that pressure intensely. Holding steady and negotiating with my HCP is intimidating and stressful and it's only me I'm advocating for. I know, from research, that having inherited hypercholesterolemia, means moderating stress and using other health indicators for heart health but getting my HCP to jump off his band wagon and onto mine is tricky business.
When we as doulas and CBE's toss out "you need to advocate for yourself" to expectant parents we need to consider how difficult that actually is. There's much at stake and this type of advocacy requires a moxy that many people haven't developed for themselves and even if they have, there can be unacceptable repercussions. Of course I've understood this on a cerebral level but lately I'm feeling more in touch with the discomfort beyond that and recognise that there needs to be another piece added that statement. It's not enough to suggest this to parents. We have to go further to discuss, in realistic terms, what self advocacy would look and feel like. And for those of us in Canada where couples likely won't have the option to change care providers, we need to accommodate the notion that sometimes that advocacy isn't possible in it's purest form. It's highly political and parents need ideas about how to access the best care possible given that reality.
The bottom line is that I know what I need to do for my health and I have the tools to negotiate a plan with my HCP but I'm still sweaty thinking about my next appointment. As an educator this is valuable to me and as a doula this is vital. I need to stay connected with how this feels and understand that for parents it's exponentially more difficult. There's a precious child that comes first and that ups the stakes. Its difficult, sweaty, and nerve wracking business and we'd all do well to address this right out of the gate.
As I negotiate with my HCP next week I expect I'll have to meet him somewhere in the middle. My fitness and impeccable eating habits might not be enough for him and I'll have to find a way that pleases us both. Its good practice for helping the couples I work with. Wish me luck.
When we as doulas and CBE's toss out "you need to advocate for yourself" to expectant parents we need to consider how difficult that actually is. There's much at stake and this type of advocacy requires a moxy that many people haven't developed for themselves and even if they have, there can be unacceptable repercussions. Of course I've understood this on a cerebral level but lately I'm feeling more in touch with the discomfort beyond that and recognise that there needs to be another piece added that statement. It's not enough to suggest this to parents. We have to go further to discuss, in realistic terms, what self advocacy would look and feel like. And for those of us in Canada where couples likely won't have the option to change care providers, we need to accommodate the notion that sometimes that advocacy isn't possible in it's purest form. It's highly political and parents need ideas about how to access the best care possible given that reality.
The bottom line is that I know what I need to do for my health and I have the tools to negotiate a plan with my HCP but I'm still sweaty thinking about my next appointment. As an educator this is valuable to me and as a doula this is vital. I need to stay connected with how this feels and understand that for parents it's exponentially more difficult. There's a precious child that comes first and that ups the stakes. Its difficult, sweaty, and nerve wracking business and we'd all do well to address this right out of the gate.
As I negotiate with my HCP next week I expect I'll have to meet him somewhere in the middle. My fitness and impeccable eating habits might not be enough for him and I'll have to find a way that pleases us both. Its good practice for helping the couples I work with. Wish me luck.
Saturday, 27 April 2013
A Change at The Top
Those of us that live in British Columbia Canada are experiencing the height of a Provincial election campaign. I'm so grateful that it's only a four week process, for the most part. It may seem as thought we've been here many times before, on the precipice of a change in leadership, one that we hope will bring new energy and ideas; because we have. EVERY election, we the electorate are looking for something different, a new message a new idea and renewed hope in our economy and ultimately, our way of life.
This is also the year when leadership in our national organizations such will be changing or has already just changed. While I thank those that have been of service, I am feeling the same sense of urgency for renewed energy, new ideas and something different that I hope for in my home Province. Board renewal is imperative. New ways of leadership are vital and new and energetic people joining the team is intoxicating. Perhaps I'm a rare breed, but I crave change. I crave movement and innovation. This is such a fast paced world and it can burn through even the most dedicated volunteers. When new and talented people step up to the plate I want to give them a standing ovation because it is brave and it helps organizations grow and move forward.
If you live in BC Canada, I'll meet you at the polling station and I hope you will also join me in welcoming the new leadership volunteers taking seats in all our organizations and support them with all your might. We need them and they need US.
This is also the year when leadership in our national organizations such will be changing or has already just changed. While I thank those that have been of service, I am feeling the same sense of urgency for renewed energy, new ideas and something different that I hope for in my home Province. Board renewal is imperative. New ways of leadership are vital and new and energetic people joining the team is intoxicating. Perhaps I'm a rare breed, but I crave change. I crave movement and innovation. This is such a fast paced world and it can burn through even the most dedicated volunteers. When new and talented people step up to the plate I want to give them a standing ovation because it is brave and it helps organizations grow and move forward.
If you live in BC Canada, I'll meet you at the polling station and I hope you will also join me in welcoming the new leadership volunteers taking seats in all our organizations and support them with all your might. We need them and they need US.
Friday, 1 March 2013
Where will we be in 2025?
I admit to being one of those pain in the rear people that plan for the long term destination. I really want to know where the doula industry will be in 2025 and if we will regret not having planned for it. It's easy for us all to get mired in our own lives and local involvements and we tend to put a lot of trust and faith in our national organizations to take us where we need to go. But.... what if that long range planning isn't happening? In this essay, one of many examining the direction of non-profits toward 2025, Helmut Anheier looks at the considerable impact non profits will have in politics, social accountability and the delivery of social services. Organizations that are positioning themselves to advocate for any demographic will likely have considerable impact.
Come with me down the rabbit hole and imagine what how intricately involved the doula industry COULD be in advocating for mother's, babies and families if our national presence was ready to take on such a role. We'd need forward thinking people at the board tables of these organizations to position them for government, funders and caregivers to be comfortable with having us at the table.
Back peddling now to today, this means we all need to be paying attention to who is sitting around those board tables. Do you know? And, if you had a chance to register a vote for the people representing you... would you take the time to choose who you think is best? I dearly hope you would. We all need to care, deeply, how we are represented and who is doing the representing. If we don't, there's no telling where we'll be in 2025 and who ultimately will be positioned to have the most impact on birth.
Come with me down the rabbit hole and imagine what how intricately involved the doula industry COULD be in advocating for mother's, babies and families if our national presence was ready to take on such a role. We'd need forward thinking people at the board tables of these organizations to position them for government, funders and caregivers to be comfortable with having us at the table.
Back peddling now to today, this means we all need to be paying attention to who is sitting around those board tables. Do you know? And, if you had a chance to register a vote for the people representing you... would you take the time to choose who you think is best? I dearly hope you would. We all need to care, deeply, how we are represented and who is doing the representing. If we don't, there's no telling where we'll be in 2025 and who ultimately will be positioned to have the most impact on birth.
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